There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
