Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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