She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
