My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
