Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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