you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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