At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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