I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
