I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
