If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
