Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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