I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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