Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize