You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
