They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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