i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
