i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
