don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize