He disabled his match.com account in front of me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
