he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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