I wish I could punch you in the face.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
