Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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