Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My pussy is not your playground.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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