Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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