Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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