I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
