Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
