Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
