And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
