If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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