I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
