champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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