Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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