I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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