Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
