Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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