Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
