just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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