I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
