Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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