You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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