I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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