its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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