Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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