I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
