i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
