Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
