Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
