So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize