The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
