those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
