i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
