if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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