Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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