Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I did not marry a roomba.
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