We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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