at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize