I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
