my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
