Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
