Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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